These shots are from sunny Tornio full of mosquitoes, last summer. Mosquitoes, as they are nasty and annoying, dispirit even when the sun is nice and warm and the river cool and calm - just like the thoughts I've had. I even wrote a draft about my doubts, mostly concerning whiny and naive shit. That really wasn't for you (= back then I thought that I would publish it, but I just had to get the thoughts written down to understand them better), so I don't bother you with that. I still think you should know that I'm not certain at all about my great plan of becoming the greatest photographer ever, no. I do think about whether I'm the right person to do this and whether I am even allowed to study something that I would enjoy. (That doesn't happen in real life, does it?)
Sometimes when I hear a story about a great photographer I get depressed because my story doesn't begin like that, but... so what? My dream is not to become famous and the best of all. I want to do what I like and this certainly is the thing that gets me super excited. (Even if I say things like this I'm sure the doubts will be back again, and maybe you can catch the feeling in the self-portrait that I took only few days back.)
Back to Tornio (in a second): I've got lots of photos from holidays far away, but they are mostly crap. I've tried to document the scenery and I get photos that nobody wants to see ever again. These are also sort of holiday pictures, it was a summer holiday trip after all, but these have a different feeling for me: these feel like that holiday. The colours reflect the feeling I then had, or at least it's easy for me to believe that now that I only have these pictures. I'd like to know what kind of feelings these create in you, or is it just me who feels the cool of the river and the warmth of the sun.